Adams Family Values

3 minute read

So this week I am talking all about values. Values that I find important in myself and values that describe my happiness. We were given a list of a bunch of different values to choose from that came to mind when we were really happy, proud, or satisfied and here are the ones that stood out to me:

  • Accomplishment
  • Challenge
  • Competition
  • Confidence
  • Excellence
  • Growth
  • Having a family
  • Inner Harmony
  • Music
  • Personal Development
  • Physical Challenge
  • Romance

I know that most of these have to do with achieving something or being accepted but the more I looked, other things in the list stood out to me and are becoming more important to me now. I just got married last December and already having a family is a big priority and a value that I want for myself and makes me very happy to imagine.


It’s funny how priorities change in the drop of a hat. I never really thought I would get married for the longest time but when you know you know and now a huge majority of my decision are based around my wife and my soon to be family. Spending more time with my parents now, I see and feel how important it is to have a solid familial foundation.

In a perfect world, I would live up to all of the values that I admire to the utmost degree but I know that doesn’t always happen. But here is my own estimation of how I live up to each of those values that I listed based on a 1 to 5 scale (1 being disagree and 5 being strongly agree)

  • Accomplishment 4
  • Challenge 3
  • Competition 3
  • Confidence 3
  • Excellence 4
  • Growth 4
  • Having a family 5
  • Inner Harmony 4
  • Music 5
  • Personal Development 4
  • Physical Challenge 3
  • Romance 4

People generally don’t ask me for advice that often but recently I did have a great discussion with a young guy who is currently in school for music and he wanted to hear my story about how I became a professional opera singer and what I think he should do for his next steps to get to the level that I am currently at. It was a great conversation and very enlightening as to the knowledge that I have to offer to other people who want to do the same thing that I do. It also made me feel really great to know that I helped someone feel more confident about themselves and feel more secure in their future.

And while I do try to live up to all of my values, I (like everyone else) do get down on myself sometimes and I have a tendency to beat up on myself if I make a mistake or if I feel like I should know something that I don’t. As I discussed in my previous blog post about Stereotype threat (you should check it out if you haven’t yet) I don’t feel like that affects me that much that I am aware of. But maybe that will become more apparent to me when I get to an environment like DBC where I am a complete newbie. But when I do get down on myself, I think I’m not good enough, or I get stressed about something, I think about one of the quotes from the amazing film The Big Lebowski: “The dude abides.” I think about that and it makes everything seem ok. I did it today in fact. It just reminds me that the world doesn’t revolve around me and my problems are minuscule in relation to the rest of the world. Then all of my problems don’t seem like such a big deal and I feel better.

I’m really looking forward to getting to DBC and meeting everyone and stretching my limits of knowledge, my learning ability, and my emotional capacity. I know that if I put in everything that I have, I will leave a changed man and hopefully I will have some awesome knowledge of Ruby too!